7 phrases that could save your life – during a stag party in Poland

Stag parties in Krakow and other cities in Poland are drunkenly popular with English folk. The typical stag party can be less than polite when visiting any country though, so to ease your time in the host country, it would be best to learn a few key phrases to smooth things over and keep them happy.

The Poles love it when other people try to speak their language, and they’ll be sure to treat your garbled words warmly.

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“Pan mlody” (Pronounced: pan mwod-ih)

The Polish name for a groom translates as “young man”, giving the fellow stag attendees plenty of opportunity to say “Oooooh, young man!” in the style of a 1990s Harry Enfield throughout the course of the evening.

“Pietnascie wodeczki poprosze!” (Pronounced: pyet-nash-che vood-ech-ki po-pro-she)

15 vodkas please! You’re going to say this. A lot. Admittedly, you may need to abbreviate as the power of speech leaves you. “Vood-ka!” accompanied by a smile may have to suffice.  

“Bardzo przepraszam” (Pronounced: baaaaaard-zo p-sheh-pra-sham)

You’re probably going to be apologising to somebody at some point, be it the bar staff who just cleaned up the groom’s sick or the police officer who’s found you tied naked to a lamp post. Saying you’re very sorry will help. We recommend elongating the “bardzo” for emphasis: “I’m veeeeery sorry”.

“Masz piekne oczy…” (Pronounced: mash p-yenk-ne och-ih)

Certain stag attendees may want to try their chances with the local women. “You have beautiful eyes…” said suavely has a vague possibility of being charming. Whether the Polish girl you say this to will, in fact, have beautiful eyes or not will be largely down to how many vodkas you’ve had at this point in the proceedings.

“Nie jestem menelem, tylko anglikiem” (Pronounced: n-ye yest-em men-el-em, till-koh ang-leek-yem)

When the police find you passed out on the street, this is how you insist you’re not a tramp but merely an Englishman. The police will then roll their eyes in understanding and probably say to each other “Na pewno to noc kawalerski…” (“Must be a stag night…”).  

“Nie pamietam…” (Pronounced: n-yeh pam-yen-tam)

When you get lost and manage to somehow hail a taxi, this phrase will let the driver know that you have forgotten the name of the unpronounceable street that your unpronounceable hotel is on.

The only problem with this phrase is that it may also be too unpronounceable for you, so, if that happens, you should just sit there in silence and burst into tears. Everybody understands tears.

“Uwaga!” (Pronounced: ooh-va-ga)

This means “attention”, and won’t necessarily be something you’ll want to say, but you will see it pasted on many traffic lights around the city. Don’t jaywalk in Poland because it’s punishable by an on-the-spot fine. Uwaga!