It is a truth universally acknowledged that humanity is at its worst during the morning commute. Impatient to arrive at the jobs they hate, people push and shove their way onto grossly overcrowded trains, applying makeup and spilling hot coffee as they go. Avoid attracting the irritable glares of your fellow passengers by following these eight simple rules of tube etiquette when using the London Underground.
Getting On/Off
There is nothing more personally aggravating than those few, overeager individuals attempting to crowd onto the train while you’re still getting off. Not only does it contravene the sensible advice dictated by an exasperated driver over the tannoy, but also basic human courtesy.
Hygiene
Perhaps your alarm didn’t go off this morning and you didn’t get a chance to shower? Perhaps you were out drinking until the early hours and couldn’t care less? Whatever your excuse, please don’t subject others to your poor standards of personal hygiene – they definitely won’t thank you for it.
Personal Space
Okay, so personal space on a crowded tube train is a difficult one to negotiate. Would you rather wedge your elbow into the ribcage of that man on the left, or continue standing on the toes of the person to your right? Balance on one foot, if you can – or migrate into the aisle, where there is always infinitely more room.
Music
Sorry, but no one wants to hear Miley Cyrus blasting out of your headphones at 8am. Keep the music down amid the throng of fellow commuters, and you may yet pass unscathed.
Seating
You may feel that you deserve that one available seat more than anyone else – but let’s face it, you probably don’t. Take a quick scan of the carriage before diving in, and consider the needs of others before yourself.
Food
Yes that almond croissant you picked up en route may be delicious, but those fellow passengers you’re flaking it all over won’t think so.
Makeup
Whoever thought it was socially acceptable to perform their morning beauty regime on a train packed with commuters? Much as we commend your dexterity and aesthetic transformation, it is perhaps best retained within the privacy of your own home.
Anger
There is quite possibly no other place on earth more personally aggravating than the London tube. Your journey has been delayed due to various signalling failures across the network, and none of your fellow commuters are adhering to the etiquette listed above. Your anger does not help the issue, and being rude to people certainly won’t help either.
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Written by insider city guide series Hg2 | A Hedonist’s guide to… whose guide to London coverS all the best hotels, restaurants, bars, clubs, sights, shops and spas.
