Been in the travellin’ game fifty years, man and boy, me. Okay, maybe not quite as long as that, but, either way, let me tell you a few things I’ve learnt from nosing around different parts of the world.
You Always End Up Spending More Than You Wanted
Budgeting on holidays is all very well before you leave, but when you get there, those rules you set yourself often fall out the window. Food, activities, souvenirs: all these things will surprise attack your wallet when you least expect it. Always assume you’ll probably overspend when budgeting so that when you come home you don’t get a nasty shock in your bank statement.
Get To The Airport One Hour Before Your Flight
Unless some kind of strike or disaster has occurred (of which the news would warn you), you will always be able to catch your flight on time by showing up just an hour before. The departure lounges of most airports are holding pens and I reckon the advice to get there two hours before is just so you waste valuable holiday money in there rather than at your destination. There are never any queues longer than 15 minutes at the security gate, and what with web check in, you usually don’t need to waste time checking in either. On average, you’ll still end up with about 15 minutes to spare before getting onto your plane. For small rural airports, you can knock this down to 30 minutes max. (Actually, maybe this only works because a lot of people come earlier, reducing the potential queues for late-comers – if you follow my advice, you may ironically ruin it!).
Avoid Groupthink
The bigger the group, the more difficult it is to do things you actually want. Groupthink affects groups from three and up. Ideally, travel with one other person with whom you can bargain with appropriately – their activity in the morning, then yours in the afternoon, etc. Otherwise, if you’re confident enough, try travelling alone so that you’re beholden to nobody – you can make friends along the way if you want.
Prioritise & Take Breaks
You can’t do everything. You have to make choices about what you’re going to do. And for pity’s sake, rest now and then. Organising a mad eventful week in New York is one thing, but make sure there’s a day where you do as little as possible and recharge – otherwise the last couple days of your holiday can become gruelling and joyless.
Adapt To Your New Surroundings
If you don’t try to adapt, people will take advantage of you. Tourists get fleeced when they act like sheep. Refusals to even attempt local languages or making disrespectful jokes about new places results in bad service or even arguments. Remember: you’re the weird one when you’re in an exotic new place.
Forget Your Watch
Time doesn’t make sense, it’s just some vague construct we think helps us be organised. No two clocks ever run the same and neither do countries. In some places, everybody gets up at 5am. Some, they go to sleep in the middle of the day. In some, you party into the night, others you go to bed at sundown. In China, one of the largest countries on the planet, there is officially one time zone, Beijing Time, so in the far west area of Xinjiang, people either artificially force themselves to stick to odd working hours or they give in and actually obey the behaviour of the sun. Our insistence on forcing time upon the world is more of a parlour trick than an understanding of how we actually schedule our day – we are at whim to our environment.
People Don’t Appreciate What They Have
People don’t know why you came to visit their home. Many times when you meet people in different countries, even places that are famed for their beauty and culture, residents you meet will say “Why would you want to come here?” and they look at you with a baffled expression. The only exception is New York where everybody seems to feel exceptionally pleased with themselves for living there – but that’s only because most of them moved there from somewhere else anyway.
Different People, Different Realities
Every culture has its own reality and you’re bound to mess up at some point, no matter how well-cultured you think you are. You can live in a country for ten years and still find you make social faux-pas. This also extends to your travelling buddies – you might have days where you or they are just having an off day where bad moods or unfortunate mishaps occur – learn to keep each other happy unless you want arguments to ruin your holiday.
Nowhere “Is The Best”
Everywhere has something interesting and unique about it. You can have personal favourites, but there are no objective bests. If you think there are, you’re not only dogmatic and but probably a little braindead as you’re not learning anymore.
Featured image by Kate Ter Haar
