Travelling alone is a wondrous thing. For the most part, it’s an opportunity to assess your life by having some genuine “me time” as you go your own route. But whilst having solo revelations upon a glorious mountaintop is all well and good; it’s always nice to share memories, especially when experiencing a new place for the first time.
However much like dating, making friends when you are a single traveller can at first seem like a daunting endeavor. The trick is, of course, confidence. That’s the not- so-secret weapon. Couple that with the following smooth moves and you’re onto a guaranteed winner when it comes to meeting new people (well for the most part anyway…) Hell, you might even score yourself a love interest if you’re lucky!
Search flights“I’ll show you my passport if you show me yours?”
Generally, when you are cooped up on an airplane as a solo traveller, the person randomly selected to sit next to you falls into one of four categories:
- The crying child: Perhaps the least desirable category to be sat next to, especially during a long haul flight. Cue earplugs and eye mask.
- The overexcited traveller: Normally forms part of a larger group scattered across the plane and is en route/ returning from a holiday. So is perhaps fond of the on flight alcohol, is a tad merry and of course, is chatting a little too loudly to their mates across the aisle. Much like for the category above, earplugs and eye mask are a must.
- The indifferent passenger: The most common of plane companions. They keep to themselves, are quiet but polite and well, ultimately forgettable the second you have stepped off the plane.
- The unicorn: It’s very rare to find yourself sitting next to someone on a plane you find attractive, least of all someone you would consider to-be like-minded and potentially new friend material. Should this situation arise, you should most definitely make the most of this exceptional opportunity.
A casual toss of the complimentary packet of peanuts into their vicinity when they aren’t looking is always a good conversation starter…
“Whoops! Sorry, I accidently dropped my peanuts by your shoes!“.
Alternatively, if you find yourself on an indirect flight, pull out your itinerary, look perplexed and then ask your fellow traveller if they are in the same boat. If they are… well, great! Ask if you can join them when making the flight transfer for fear of getting lost in the foreign airport. If they aren’t travelling to the same final destination… never fear! You already have an in, so just keep asking them more questions about where they are headed and their reason for travelling. Everyone loves talking about themselves, so you are onto conversation gold.
However, if your target is a little on the quiet side, the peanut trick has failed and the travel questions have run dry; you may have to pull out all the stops. Ask if you can slip-past to use the restroom and then accidentally on purpose stumble onto their lap. If that doesn’t trigger a laugh, then blame turbulence and swiftly reach for the earplugs and eye mask.
“Nice place, do you come here often?”
It’s an oldie but a goodie: Stay in a hostel. When you are sleeping with strangers (in a dorm room of course!) It’s impossible not to get talking. Break the ice by asking your roomies in the morning what their plan is for the day. If following more or less the same route, suggest some extra fun things you’ve found to add to the itinerary. Being open and friendly, not to mention helpful is key. Once you get chatting, if all bodes well, you could find yourself some newfound tour buddies for the day.
Remember to play it cool though. If they don’t extend the invite on their day’s excursions, don’t just rock up to a museum they said they were hitting and appear lurking out from a behind a statue; because let’s face it:
A) They will think you are weird.
B) They will are likely to spread the word you are weird to the rest of the hostel dwellers post guitar sing-a-long in the common room.
If this occurs, it’s time to move hostels.
Not a twenty –something touting a backpack? Or perhaps you are averse to sharing a bathroom with fifteen strangers? Well, why not opt for guesthouses where you can rent just a room for a couple days rather than having the entire place to yourself. Get chatting to those hosting, prior to your stay so you know in advance whether or not you’d gel. And BAM! You’ve yourself some ready-made friends, not to mention accommodation, all waiting for you on arrival.
“Coffee? Tea? Me?”
In the movie Notting Hill, Hugh Grant meets Julie Roberts when they collide at a corner and he pours coffee all down her front. That’s one maneuver you could try. But this is real life and not the movies. So give that move a shot and you’re more likely to get a punch in the face than a new girlfriend or boyfriend. Instead, why not use the morning coffee run on your travels as a prime “meet cute” opportunity to set you up for the day. Here’s a couple of tactics:
When the barista calls out an order, “accidentally” reach for the same coffee as your potential new friend. The same move works equally well if you are in the breakfast queue. Simply reach for the same slice of toast. Add a touch of flirtatious banter and you never know, count your cards right and it could lead to dinner…
Another slick move is to simply carry around with you a copy of whatever is the current bestseller du jour. Bestselling books are not only a luggage essential of any fellow traveller, but often times are just as popular with locals in foreign lands. Yep, chances are about at least 50 other people in the same 8-mile radius will also be carrying said book. When you are out travelling on public transport or dining solo, keep your eyes peeled for the familiar book cover being read by a fellow diner. Then whip your copy out when the time is right- instant conversation starter! Worse case scenario if said approach does not induce an impromptu book club situation; well, at least, you’ve got something to keep you entertained as you dine solo.
“Is that a canoe or are you just happy to see me?”
Joining group activities is a sure-fire way to meet new, like-minded people abroad. That and have a whole bunch of fun in the process. For those adventurous solo travellers out there, why not try out the likes of white water rafting or surf lessons, which are often formed of large groups and come equipped with a team leader to prompt conversation. Yep, from initiating intros between you and your fellow adventure enthusiasts to the likes of putting you in pairs for warm up exercises; team leaders are the wingmen and women of dreams.
Not really the sporty kind? Why not join a tour! Being part of a tour group is quietly inclusive. If you were out and about and walked up to some random stranger and started commenting on how the Eiffel Tower is “actually a lot smaller than you imagined”, you might not get a response. A funny look at most. Gathered in an organised group where your fellow tourists have already registered your presence; such a comment has every potential to lead to a conversation. At very least, a polite chuckle.
Joining a pub – crawl is always good way to meet people. People are always in good spirits and up for a laugh on a pub-crawl. You could even be forgiven for pulling out the cheesiest of lines to kick-start a conversation. Well, almost.
Instead, it’s better to be stealth. Go up to the barman and order one of the 2-4-1 cocktail offers or something to that ilk. Return to group table and feign bemusement that you now have two cocktails (Because you only ordered the one, the barman must have misheard you- nudge nudge, wink wink). Proffer extra cocktail to potential new friend/love interest. They will accept and you will be a hero. The perfect pub-crawl conversation starter! Come morning time and 12 pubs later, you will no doubt be raking in the new Facebook friend requests. Let’s just hope it’s just that and not a hangover…
