Forget about the Olympics and the European Championships, the biggest event in Europe is just a matter of days away. The Eurovision Song Contest is taking place this weekend, and pretty soon the whole continent is going to know about it.
Taking place in Baku, capital of Azerbaijan this year (who knew that was in Europe?), the annual pop battle is set to be bigger and better than ever.
As with most international competitions, be they sporting or otherwise, it is fair to say that Britain has a rather small chance of winning. But it’s not about the winning, it’s about watching what hummable, wonderful songs our European friends come up with.
This year, we’ve pinned our hopes on ’60s crooner Engelbert Humperdinck. One of the oldest acts in the competition, Engelbert surely can’t do any worse than previous UK representatives. But who is he up against?
Russia
Engelbert would have been the oldest act in the competition this year, were it not for Russia’s entry. Buranovskiye Babushki is a group of grannies, the oldest of which is 76.
Performing “Party for Everybody”, the Russian grannies will be hoping the novelty value will convert into points. Knowing us, they’ll probably get dix points from the UK.
Austria
No Eurovision would be complete without a trashy rap song, and this year it’s Austria that has taken one for the team.
Lukas Plöchl and Manuel Hoffelner make up rap duo Trackshittaz (no, seriously), and describe their musical style as “tractor gangster party rap” – their words, not ours.
Ireland
Ireland has seen something in Jedward that we missed, as the duo with the big hair and big dreams are back in Eurovision for the second time in two years.
To be fair, John and Edward finished a respectable sixth last year, so they’re giving it another try with their song “Waterline”. Surely a musical legend such as Engelbert can beat them? Then again, if Blue couldn’t do it, no one can.
(Images: ApPlamen, Alexander Evstyugov-Babaev, Joachim Köhler, Pete Souza)
